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Making and Keeping Friends - Lesson prep



I found a nice, neat, survey for the teens to fill out my first week as the leader. It asked them, among other things, about their preferred topics to talk about in an upcoming Wednesday night Bible study. The most popular one got a vote from every student, except one. That was "making and keeping friends." 

Now I'm sitting here thinking "what have I gotten myself into?" I feel wholly unqualified to teach this! I just moved here about 8 months ago, and I have yet to do that whole "making friends" thing. Not the way I think of friends. But maybe I just need to re-think what a friend is. 

That's where I'm going to start with the teens. 

*Ask them what makes a friend. 
*Do they have to be close enough to run out for a lunch when the need or mood strikes? 
*Are the people we keep in contact with through social media, text and phone calls "real" friends? 
*Do we need friends who aren't separated from us by miles and miles? 
*Can we call someone a friend when we haven't seen them in months?
*Can we call someone a friend if we haven't talked to them in a few weeks, or even months?
*Are there different kinds of friends?
*What makes a real friend vs. a fair-weather friend?

All of that aside, how do we make friends? 
It's not really safe to befriend people online willy-nilly. But that definitely isn't a 100% bad thing to do, either. I've been using a website that gets you together with people who like similar things. I found one group that does Bible journaling. You don't really get to know people on the website, but you go somewhere (for my first time meeting with them, it was at a café) and do something. So, this website gives you a mutually liked activity and then you must take the initiative to actually meet the other members. We had a blast, by the way. Think of it as a school club, for grown ups.

I remember how I made friends with pretty much every person who I am blessed to call a friend. Each of them started from a random conversation one of us struck up and we found some common ground with each other. It reminds me of one of my favorite C.S. Lewis quotes...

Photo source: http://quotesgram.com/favorite-quotes-about-friendship/

When I think of friendship connected to Bible study, my thoughts turn to the friendship of David and Jonathan. The first mention of this friendship, to my knowledge, is in 1 Samuel 18. Some translations say that Jonathan loved David as himself. This particular translation I linked to (NRSV) says that Jonathan loved David as his own soul. In chapter 19, Jonathan tells David that Saul (Jonathan's own father) was planning to kill him. He told him to hide, then spoke in favor of David to Saul. His love for David swayed Saul and he decided against killing him. 


Chapter 20 is completely dedicated to their friendship. They loved each other very much. David was afraid Jonathan's father, Saul, wanted to kill him, again. So, together they came up with a plan to find out whether Saul really did intend to kill David. They swore a covenant between themselves and their descendants that they would remain faithful to each other. No matter what, they remained friends. Their friendship spanned miles, and lasted in spite of (what I imagine were) long periods of time without communication between the two of them.


Photo source: http://bit.ly/1ULzuZU

Making a friend comes in many forms. You must be firm in what a good friend is - both in your own life and, more importantly, from a godly - or Biblical - standpoint. Knowing your own "friendship deal breakers" helps in not only making, but also keeping friends.

To keep a friend, you need two key elements. Communication, and love. Love carries a friendship along, even when the two people cannot or have not spoken, texted, emailed - communicated - in a while. True friends are able to go long periods of time - days, weeks, months, sometimes years - and feel like they picked up right where they left off when they are able to communicate again.

I'm pondering a game to go along with this lesson. But, the more games I look at, the more I'm leaning towards this lesson being about a discussion amongst the group. 

My current plan is to talk about the previous questions, and any others that may come up, in this coming meeting and then take it from there. I may make this a mini-series, or they may be satisfied with a one-off lesson. I'm letting their needs dictate this one, mostly.

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